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alt="父母?jìng)α宋�，但原諒他們能讓我更好地生活情感美�?/></p><p>　　父親接過他手里的包，站在廚房門口的母親催他換衣服吃飯。</p><p>　　飯菜很豐富，凌鑫的爸媽不吃肉，但凌鑫愛吃，所以每個(gè)周末的飯桌上都有肉。</p><p>　　吃飯的時(shí)候凌鑫會(huì)和父母聊聊自己的工作，三口之家圍坐吃飯聊天的情景看起來(lái)和其他家庭并沒有什么不同，但對(duì)于凌鑫來(lái)說，這看似溫馨的畫面背后，卻潛伏著只有他才能感受到的暗涌，一條橫亙?cè)谒透改钢g的巨大鴻溝，讓他沒辦法和父母更親近。</p><p>　　事實(shí)上，凌鑫也加入了在社會(huì)上曾掀起巨大爭(zhēng)議的豆瓣網(wǎng)“父母皆禍害”小組。</p><p>　　“就你這點(diǎn)成績(jī)，還想考清華，說出來(lái)不怕別人笑死你�！�</p><p>　　“我愛我的父母，但是面對(duì)他們的時(shí)候，那種從內(nèi)心深處散發(fā)出來(lái)的無(wú)奈讓我沒辦法和他們變得親密。”凌鑫的無(wú)奈，也是“父母皆禍害”小組里幾乎所有組員的無(wú)奈。</p><p>　　“他們以‘愛’的名義毀掉了我的自信和自尊卻不自知�！�25歲的凌鑫說不清這種毀滅始于什么時(shí)候，但卻始終清晰地記得加速這種毀滅的那幾個(gè)節(jié)點(diǎn)。</p><p>　　1997年的一個(gè)下午，12歲的凌鑫剛剛拿到自己的“小升初”考試成績(jī)單，他考得不錯(cuò)，分?jǐn)?shù)夠上當(dāng)?shù)氐闹攸c(diǎn)中學(xué)。興高采烈的他拿著成績(jī)單找到在鄰居家聊天的父親。</p><p>　　“當(dāng)時(shí)的考試科目是語(yǔ)文、數(shù)學(xué)、英語(yǔ)三科，我六年級(jí)時(shí)才從農(nóng)村轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)回到城里，少學(xué)了一學(xué)期的英語(yǔ)，能拿到那個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)很不容易�！编従觽兗娂娍淞桷斡谐鱿ⅲ赣H卻笑著說：“他能有什么出息，只要?jiǎng)e闖禍我就心滿意足了�！蹦晟俚牧桷尾环䴕�，沖口說：“我會(huì)努力考上清華大學(xué)�！�</p><p>　　“就你還想考清華？說出來(lái)不怕別人笑死你！”凌鑫說他這輩子都不會(huì)忘記父親說這句話時(shí)臉上浮現(xiàn)出來(lái)的表情，輕蔑、不屑，甚至有鄙視意味�！霸谖腋赣H看來(lái)，清華大學(xué)是我永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法企及的高度，我敢有這種幻想，甚至在眾人面前把它說出來(lái)，就是一種不知羞恥的表現(xiàn)�！�</p><p>　　對(duì)凌鑫來(lái)說，父親當(dāng)時(shí)的態(tài)度不僅僅是對(duì)他能力的不信任，更是對(duì)他人格的侮辱。而這種侮辱幾乎充塞在凌鑫整個(gè)成長(zhǎng)過程中。</p><p>　　“我從來(lái)不在別人面前談?wù)摾硐�，因�(yàn)槲宜械睦硐攵荚馐苓^父親的冷嘲熱諷�！悴豢赡艹晒Α獰o(wú)論這是不是他的'真實(shí)想法，他一言一行中傳遞給我的就是這樣的信息，可怕的是，這個(gè)信息慢慢地侵蝕著我，最終摧毀了我所有的自信�！�</p><p>　　“長(zhǎng)得這么丑，都不敢?guī)С鋈ソo人看�！�</p><p>　　吃完晚飯，母親叫住想要回到自己房間的凌鑫：“前幾天你舅媽說她同事家的閨女不錯(cuò)，你這兩天有時(shí)間就和人家約時(shí)間見個(gè)面。”</p><p>　　“我這兩天有事，下周再說吧�！闭f完，凌鑫回到了自己的房間�！捌鋵�(shí)我沒什么事，就是不想去相親，不想找女朋友。”</p><p>　　25歲的凌鑫至今沒談過戀愛。“曾經(jīng)有幾個(gè)女孩子說喜歡我，都被我拒絕了。”凌鑫覺得自己不可能擁有美好的戀愛，這個(gè)想法同樣源自于父母。</p><p>　　從小凌鑫就被父母嘲笑：“長(zhǎng)得這么丑，都不敢?guī)С鋈ソo人看”“這小子以后肯定娶不到老婆”。諸如此類的話對(duì)于父母來(lái)說是玩笑和樂趣，但對(duì)于凌鑫則意味著對(duì)他自信和自尊的巨大打擊。</p><p>　　“我父母出門時(shí)候很少帶著我，反而常會(huì)把鄰居家的漂亮小孩叫到家里玩，這更讓我覺得自己長(zhǎng)得丑很羞恥，不會(huì)受到別人的歡迎。直到現(xiàn)在我都很怕和別人交往，更別說去談戀愛了。”</p><p>　　父母并不了解凌鑫的想法，他們只是迫切地想給兒子娶個(gè)媳婦。這種熱切的心態(tài)在遭遇了凌鑫的拒絕之后演變成了憤怒。</p><p>　　“他們說我人不怎么樣，眼光還挺高，有人肯嫁我就該燒高香了�！绷桷螣o(wú)奈地笑了笑，“我并非不想戀愛結(jié)婚，只是他們?cè)谖倚睦锪粝碌年幱白屛覜]辦法坦然和女孩子相處，我沒辦法接受自己，又怎么去接受別人？”</p><p>　　“肯定是你的錯(cuò)，人家怎么不打我呢？”</p><p>　　對(duì)凌鑫來(lái)說，父母加諸在他身上的實(shí)打?qū)嵉谋┝�，給他的傷害反而是最小的。</p><p>　　父母怒目而視、拳腳相加的戲碼在他的成長(zhǎng)過程中頻繁上演，最嚴(yán)重的一次，是父親把凌鑫的頭按進(jìn)家里的水缸，“那次我嚇壞了，他放開我的時(shí)候我甚至都忘了哭，從那以后我就對(duì)水有了心理陰影，直到今天我都沒下過游泳池。”</p><p>　　“父母打我的目的就是讓我聽話，不能有任何‘惹是生非’的行為。但是究竟什么樣的行為算是‘惹是生非’，這要以他們的心情來(lái)定�！�</p><p>　　幼年的凌鑫身體瘦弱，常被人欺負(fù)，但他從來(lái)沒有尋求過父母的幫助，“沒用的，我從不指望他們會(huì)安慰我，如果我身上帶傷被他們發(fā)現(xiàn)的話，肯定是又一通打罵：‘一天到晚惹是生非，他們?cè)趺床淮蛭夷兀俊@就是他們的想法，有錯(cuò)的永遠(yuǎn)是我，所以被打也是活該�！�</p><p>　　父母對(duì)于凌鑫的冷熱暴力一直持續(xù)到他考上大學(xué)離開家。能夠逃離父母，對(duì)當(dāng)時(shí)的凌鑫來(lái)說，無(wú)疑意味著一種更美好的生活。</p><p>　　可是，大學(xué)畢業(yè)后凌鑫還是回到了家鄉(xiāng)。他在離家兩個(gè)小時(shí)車程的城市找了工作，工作日住在單位，每個(gè)周末都回家看望父母。</p><p>　　“小組里很多人都渴望能夠逃離父母，這也曾是我最大的夢(mèng)想，可是現(xiàn)在我不這么想了。”他選擇回來(lái)的原因很“俗套”也很簡(jiǎn)單：因?yàn)閻邸?/p><p>　　“我曾經(jīng)恨過他們，但最終決定原諒他們。因?yàn)槲蚁嘈潘麄儗?duì)我的傷害是無(wú)意的，而對(duì)我的付出都是真誠(chéng)的。更重要的是，原諒他們，才能讓我更好地生活�！�</p> 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