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四級(jí)作文范文提分技巧之善于變化
許多人將簡潔與簡短混為一談，其實(shí)二有很大區(qū)別。簡潔的主旨是用盡量少的詞匯講述整個(gè)故事，簡短的主旨則是為保持文章篇幅短小，精心撰寫或隨意刪除文中的某些詞語或章節(jié)。
簡潔并不意味著總寫短句子。事實(shí)上，如果句式缺乏變化，文章就會(huì)顯得支離破碎，缺少聯(lián)系，讓人覺得寫作技巧貧乏。句式的變化能令文章協(xié)調(diào)而流暢，會(huì)讓讀者感覺到作者對主題把握得游刃有余。雖然短句沒什么語法錯(cuò)誤，但用得太多會(huì)使本應(yīng)合在一起的意思分離開來。
記�。翰灰褂靡淮痰�、支離破碎的句子。要理清自己的思路，盡量使句子長度有所變化。
例:
Before: The Art of Strategy was written by Sun Tzu. It is a fifty-six-hundred-word Chinese classical work. The writer put forth a set of principles in a very tightly compressed manner. They deal with how to defeat oppositions and win battles.
這種表達(dá)的問題在于：
(1) 簡單的“主語+謂語”結(jié)構(gòu)太多;
(2) "written"和"writer", "The Art of Strategy"和" It"，"set of principles"和" they"為重復(fù)用語;
(3) 讀起來很單調(diào)。
After：In his fifty-six-hundred word classic, The Art of Strategy, Sun Tzu put forth a tightly compressed set of principles for achieving triumph over opposition.
介詞結(jié)構(gòu)+同位語+主語+謂語的形式比較好，因?yàn)閷?quot;Sun Tzu" 放到了最重要成分-主語的位置，其他成分按邏輯排序居次要地位。整個(gè)句子很流暢。
再看下面各例
Choppy: Of course, the weapons at Sun Tzu’s time were quite primitive. The armies were very large. They were nearly as large as those in World War Two. The devastation and human sufferings were just as profound as in World War Two.
Better: Compared with World War Two, the weapons at Sun Tzu’s time were quite primitive, but the armies were nearly as large and the devastation and human suffering just as profound.
Choppy: Proverbs are short sayings. They are drawn from long experience.
Better: Proverbs are short sayings drawn from long experience.
Choppy: People change and places change as well. Jennifer felt this strongly. She had been away for eleven years.
Better: On returning after an eleven-year absence, Jennifer had a strong feeling of how people and places change.
Choppy: Beijing streets are crowded with taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent. The number has been rising rapidly in the last few years. The latest statistics show there are now 1.2 million vehicles in Beijing alone.
Better: Taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent have crammed Beijing streets in rising numbers in the last few years - 1.2 million vehicles at last count.
Choppy: Moby Dick is a book. It is a long book. It is about a whale. A man named Ahab tries to kill it. Herman Melville wrote it.
Better: Herman Melville wrote a long book called Moby Dick. It is the story of a struggle of a man against a whale.
Choppy: Thousands of buildings met the same fate. This alone is now being preserved. It marks the center of the nuclear explosion. It is being preserved as a symbol. It symbolizes our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.
Better: Of the thousands of buildings that met the same fate, this alone, marking the center of the nuclear explosion, is now being preserved to symbolize our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.
Choppy: I have always had a dream. My dream has been to be a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. I would become very wealthy.
Better: I have always dreamed of being a wealthy, famous writer, read by everyone.
Choppy: This is a wreck. It was formerly the stately Imperial Garden. It is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.
Better: This wreck, formerly the stately Imperial Garden, is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.
句式變化的一些技巧
英語的一個(gè)顯著特征是它可輕易地把簡單結(jié)構(gòu)(一個(gè)中心意思)轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)(兩個(gè)中心意思)和復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)(一個(gè)中心意思和一個(gè)從屬意思)甚至轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合-復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)(兩個(gè)或以上的意思)。主句，又稱獨(dú)立句，表達(dá)可獨(dú)立成句的思想內(nèi)容。從句，又稱非獨(dú)立句，表達(dá)不能獨(dú)立成句，而需與主句一起構(gòu)成完整的思想內(nèi)容。
達(dá)到句式多變的最佳期途徑是把關(guān)鍵詞或短語換到開頭或結(jié)尾，從中發(fā)現(xiàn)達(dá)到你的目的和適合你的品味的最好方法。通過連接短句--省詞，增詞，改變詞序或把不那么重要的思想放到從句中去--你就可以寫出更流暢，成熟的句子。
例
Before: Lu Hao graduated last summer. He joined the First Auto Works in Changchun soon after graduation. He received an engineering degree from his college.
采用從句能將這三個(gè)簡單句以不同方式連接起來。
After: After graduating last summer with an engineering degree, Lu Hao soon joined the First Auto Works in Changchun.
(介詞結(jié)構(gòu) + 主語 + 謂語)
或： An engineering degree-holder, Lu Hao joined the First Auto Works in hangchun last summer soon after graduation.
(同位語 + 主語 + 謂語 +狀語)
或： Having graduated with an engineering degree, Lu Hao joined the First Auto Works in Changchun last summer.
(狀語+ 主語 + 謂語)